MIL jokes

[ellanoize]

A man who hated his mother-in-law got three wishes from a genie.

Genie: "Whatever you wish for, your mother-in-law gets DOUBLE."

First wish: "I would like one billion dollars."
Genie: "Ok but mom get's two billion."

Second wish: "I would like an island off the coast of Greece."
Genie: "OK but mom get's two islands."

Third wish: " I would like you to beat me half to death."

[cherrysmum]

hahahahahaha....

[cherrysis]

HAHHHAHHHAHHAAAAA I know Robin will love this one!!! [img]rolleyes.gif[/img]

[Cherry_pez]

heheheheheh *sighs* I wish.

[ellanoize]

I was out shopping the other day when I saw six women beating my Mother In Law up. As I stood there and watched, her neighbor, who knew me, said, "Well, aren't you going to help?" I replied, "No. Six of them is enough".

************************************************** *

Two men were in a bar. One says to his friend, "My Mother In Law is an angel."
His friend replies, "You're lucky. Mine is still alive."

************************************************** *

My Father In Law was driving down the road and was pulled over by a policeman.
Walking up to my his car, the policeman said, "Your wife fell out of the car five miles back."
My Father In Law replied, "Thank God for that, I thought I had gone deaf!"

[ellanoize]

Q: What do you have when your MIL is covered in concrete up to her shoulders?
A: Too little concrete!

Q: How do you stop your MIL from drowning?
A: Take your foot off her head.

Q: What should you do if you see your Mother-In-Law rolling around in pain on the ground?
A: Shoot her again.

Q: What's the difference between a catfish and a MIL?
A: One's a scum sucking bottom dweller, and the other one is a fish!

Q: Why do they bury mothers-in-law 18 feet down, when everyone else is buried 6 feet down?
A: Because, deep down, they really are very nice people.

And One More...

A guy brings his dog into the vet and says, "Could you please cut my dog's tail off?" The vet examines the tail and says, "There is nothing wrong. Why would you want this done?" The man replies, "My MIL is coming to visit, and I don't want anything in the house to make her think that she is welcome!"

[cherrysmum]

ROTF @ the deaf one.......

[cherrysis]

I just gotta laugh and then sigh thinking about poor Mike...If he only knew how many people cannot stand his mother ( takes my foot off her head)!

[ellanoize]

A man returned home from the night shift and went straight up to the bedroom. He found his wife with the sheet pulled over her head, fast asleep. Not to be denied, the horny husband crawled under the sheet and proceeded to make love to her. Afterward, as he hurried downstairs for something to eat, he was startled to find breakfast on the table and his wife pouring coffee. "How'd you get down here so fast?" he asked. "We were just making love!" "Oh my God," his wife gasped, "That's my mother up there! She came over early and had complained of having a headache. I told her to lie down for a while." Rushing upstairs, the wife ran to the bedroom. "Mother, I can't believe this happened. Why didn't you say something?" The mother-in-law huffed, "I haven't spoken to that jerk for fifteen years, and I wasn't about to start now!"

[cherrysmum]

hahha...oh sure...bet meeee!!!